Be careful not to be from those who rectify others while corrupting their own souls. Such people go around in circles with their faults like a donkey going around a mill.
Hence, if you ever are in a position to advise others or be an example to them, such as a teacher with his students, a father or a mother with his or her children, then think as if you are under the watch of your customers. Everyone is monitoring you. Always discipline yourself as much as possible. The same applies to a couple dealing with each other.
Once, ‘Umar-may Allah be pleased with him-distributed clothes to people. Everyone received a piece of cloth that would have sufficed him either as an upper garment or lower garment. ‘Umar then stood up to address the people on Friday and said in the beginning, “Surely Allah as ordered you to hear and obey…”
As he said that, there rose a man from amongst the people and said, “There is no hearing, nor obedience!”
‘Umar said, “Why is that?”
He replied, “Because you gave us all one garment each, while you yourself wear two new garments!” meaning, your upper and lower garment, as we can notice they are new.
‘Umar then turned to the congregation as though looking for someone, until he found his son ‘Abdullah bin Umar. He said, “Stand up, O ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar!” He stood up.
He said, “Did you not give me your garment so I may deliver my address to the people therein?”
He replied, “yes”
Then the man sat down and said, “Now we shall hear and we shall obey.” and that was the end of the matter.
Although I agree that the manner in which the man objected to ‘Umar was inappropriate, our amazement is over ‘Umar’s ability to understand the situation and extinguish the flames of trouble.
Lastly, ifyou would like others to accept your comments or advice, no matter who they may be, your wife, son or your sister, then be receptive to advice yourself without being arrogant.
A man is always saying to his wife, “Look after the children better…Cook god food…How long have I been telling you to sort out the bedroom?” She would always repsond gently, “Alright, Allah willing, I will do as you say.”
One day, she suggests [a] piece of advice for him, “The children are having their exams nowadays and they need you to be present, so please don’t be late if you go out with your friends.”
The man merely hears these words and shouts at her, “I don’t have time for them! And whether or not I am late, what has that got to do with you? This is none of your business!”
Tell me, in the name of Allah, why you expect her to accept your advice after this?
And lastly, the clever person is the one who seals the holes in his wall so the people are not able to glance inside. Meaning, do not give people the opportunity to doubt you.
I recall that once a Da’wah organization invited a group of preachers to deliver lectures in Albania. The President of all the Albanian Da’wah centers was also present. We looked at him and noticed he did not have a single strand of hair on his cheek! We looked at each other in amazement, for it is common for a preacher to abide by the pratices of the Messenger of Allah (SAW) by growing his beard, even if it is light. How can a leader of preachers be clean-shaven?
When the conference started, he said to us jokingly. “Dear all! I am naturally beardless. My beard simply does not grow. Do not arrange a whole lecture about me after we have finished!” We smiled and thanked him.
If you will, let us travel back in time to Madinah and look at the Messenger of Allah (SAW) while he was making I’tikaaf in his mosque in one of the nights of Ramadan. There came his wife, Safiyyah bint Huyay, to visit him and stayed with him for a while. She then rose to go back to her house. The Prophet (SAW) did not like for her to go back home in the darkness of the night, so he decided to go with her. He walked some of the way with her until two men from the Ansaar passed by him.
When they saw the Prophet (SAW) with a woman they began to walk fast. Upon seeing this, the Prophet (SAW) said to them, “Take your time! She is only Safiyyah bint Huyay.”
They said, “SubhanAllah!” meaning, does it make sense that we should assume that you are walking with a strange woman?
The Prophet (SAW) said, “Indeed, the devil flows through the human being like blood in the veins. I feared that he may place evil in your hearts, or may whisper something to you…” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Bravery is not to persist in your errors, but to acknowledge that you are wrong, and not to repeat the error again.
By:Sheikh Dr. Muhammad ‘Abd Al-Rahaman Al-‘Arifi